Articles

The secret to sincere forgiveness lays in understanding that forgiveness is a process. It is a choice that you have to make over and over again.

One of the biggest mistakes we as individuals make in relationships is that we often fail to realise that the person we are involved with is a human being; and therefore an imperfect creature. We have such high expectations of married life and of our life partners in particular; that it often doesn't even take much to disappoint us. We often forget that, we ourselves are; in actual fact; imperfect creatures as well. If I look back over my life, the mistakes that I've made are plentiful indeed! It is therefore not a question of what to do IF one of you disappoints or hurts the other one… it's a question of how to handle the situation WHEN it happens.

The number of marriages that ends in divorce has increased rapidly together with the trauma that it creates for all the parties involved. When children are involved during a divorce, it becomes allot more complicated. How do we tell them? When do we tell them? Where are they going to stay? Do they have to change schools? A lot of planning needs to go into minimizing the traumatic impact that divorce will have on your children. During this article I will list some do's and don'ts regarding the handling of divorce with your children. 

“Quality time” is an informal reference to time spent with loved ones; such as close family, partners or friends that is in some way important, special, productive or profitable. It is time that is set aside for undivided attention to people that we love, in this case more specifically our partners. Quality time may also refer to time spent performing some favorite activities. 

Ek hanteer gereeld ouers wat deur onderwysers gebel word met probleme oor hulle kinders. Dit is gewoontlik vir die ouers baie sleg wanneer hulle kinders gereeld in die moeilikheid by die skool is. Sommige ouers voel onmiddelik skuldig en hulle voel dat hulle slegte ouers is. Wanneer die ouers direk geblameer word vir die kind se negatiewe gedrag, neig die ouers om minder positief te reageer. Wanneer die situasie sensitief deur die skool hanteer word en die ouers nie voel dat hulle blameer word nie, reageer hulle gewoontlik beter. Wat is egter toepaslike maniere om hierdie kwessie aan te spreek?

“Wat is ‘n spelterapeut? Help jy kinders met spelling?” is vragies wat ek gereeld in my praktyk (in Pretoria Oos) hoor. Die konsep van spel kan verwarrend wees vir ouers en met hierdie artikel wil ek poog om spelterapie, asook die terapeutiese proses wat ek met kinders volg te bespreek. Ek sal ook die verskil tussen spelterapie, arbeidsterapie en spraakterapie uitlig.

We enter into a relationship with the hope, the idea and the expectation that this other person will – without fail – be the answer to all our prayers. He/she will miraculously be able to meet any and every need of ours, as and when it arises. The problem is your partner enters this relationship with the same expectations of you, but with his/her own unique set of needs. What we end up with in effect – is almost a situation of 2 people sitting around waiting for the other person to fulfill all their needs, waiting for the other one to start making them happy…

As individuals some of us don’t like routine and find it boring and predictable. Children however need the predictability and safety that a routine provides. It is an important part in the development of your child, even if you, as a parent, don’t like routine. I remember as a child my mother often forgot to pick us up from school.

Be wary of the information you give. When someone dies, don't for example say; Granny went to sleep. The child might be scared of going to sleep or fearful of Mommy and Daddy not waking up again. When someone died in hospital, make sure that the child understands that it's not the going to hospital that is the cause of this person never returning, it's the being so ill that no one was able to help.

In my praktyk kry ek gereeld vrae van ouers rakende hulle kinders se ontwikkeling. Ouers stel belang daarin om te weet wat om van hulle kinders te verwag en verkeerde inligting kan beide die ouers en die kinders se ontwikkeling benadeel. Met hierdie reeks artikels wil ek graag vir ouers goed nagevorsde inligting gee ten einde hulle vrae te beantwoord en hul by te staan in die verstaan van hul kinders.