One of the biggest mistakes we as individuals make in relationships is that we often fail to realise that the person we are involved with is a human being; and therefore an imperfect creature. We have such high expectations of married life and of our life partners in particular; that it often doesn't even take much to disappoint us. We often forget that, we ourselves are; in actual fact; imperfect creatures as well. If I look back over my life, the mistakes that I've made are plentiful indeed! It is therefore not a question of what to do IF one of you disappoints or hurts the other one… it's a question of how to handle the situation WHEN it happens.

The easy and probably logical answer would be to: “Forgive and Forget”, especially if you want a healthy relationship… but in my experience; working with couples as a relationship counsellor; forgiveness is extremely hard in some cases; especially in cases where trust has been broken or violated. Some of my clients desperately want to forgive, but say they can't forget. Some say “I forgive” quite easily, but the event, act or words with which his/her partner has wronged, are brought up at every opportunity to be held against the partner; is that sincere forgiveness? The details might differ from individual to individual, but the fact of the matter is; each and every person alive will; at many points in their lives; be in a position where they either need to be forgiven, or in a position where they need to decide whether or not to forgive someone else. And seeing as Forgiveness has proven to me to be such a difficult and sometimes elusive concept/destination; I have decided to devote a series of articles on the topic.

To start with, I will explore what it means to truly and honestly forgive? I will also touch on subjects like: What does forgiveness look like; in practice? Can all things be forgiven? Can I forgive and still remember the hurt, the injustice – are the two mutually exclusive? How do I get to a point of forgiving? This is but to name a few questions that I hope to address through the series of articles and I invite you to comment and give me your opinions as well.

Paul Boese said:

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

Maybe he is simply a romantic fool, maybe he is right… I invite you to journey with me in exploring the concept of SINCERE FORGIVENESS.

Article 1 – What is Sincere Forgiveness
Article 2 – Forgiveness Starts With A Choice
Article 3 – Forgiveness Is A Process