My Child is Gay, What did I do Wrong?

By |2019-09-28T19:17:37+02:00Sep 24th, 2019|

So your child comes to you and tells you he is gay or she is lesbian. You feel that the earth has dropped out from under your feet. You look at them and try to read their faces. A million questions go through your mind. You look at them and wait, are they joking? Your mind screams, “Please just laugh and say I’m only joking”. It does not come. You realise this is real. You feel for a moment you’re in a Mexican standoff.

The Illusive Butterfly Called Happiness

By |2019-05-02T18:41:21+02:00Jan 25th, 2016|

Happiness is a state of mind. It is created by one’s own mental well- being. Hundreds of self-help books exist that point to how this can be achieved. However, the reader during this exploration does not meet the opportunity to share their thoughts. Thus not obtaining much needed feedback on their thinking processes that would deepen their understanding.

Wat moet ek oor my kleuter weet? – Artikel 2

By |2019-05-02T19:20:35+02:00May 19th, 2015|

‘n Kleuter se spel begin baie selfgesentreerd en word later meer sosiaal soos hulle met ander kinders in interaksie tree. Dit is dus nie vreemd as jou kleuter op sy eie kan speel en met homself praat nie.

Daar is ‘n baie spesifieke rede waarom daar na die kleuter jare as die “terrible two’s and three’s” verwys word.  Wanneer ek aan ‘n kleuter dink, kom twee stellings sterk na vore: “Nee” en “ek wil self”.  Gedurende hierdie fase begin jou kind sy taalvaardighede, geheue en verbeelding te ontwikkel

Hoe vorm gehegtheid / ‘attachment’ ? – ‘n ouer se beste geskenk aan hul kind…

By |2019-05-02T19:22:04+02:00May 12th, 2015|

Gehegtheid is die band tussen ‘n baba en sy versorger. ‘n Gesonde, vaste gehegtheid sal die grootste invloed op ‘n kind se emosionele ontwikkeling as baba, kind, tiener en later as volwassene hê. Die ervarings van vroeë gehegtheid het lewenslank 'n uitwerking op ‘n kind se emosionele ontwikkeling. ‘n Gesonde, vaste gehegtheid is noodsaaklik vir ‘n individu, om ‘n funksionele lewe te lei.

Why is sleep important for children

By |2019-05-02T19:34:19+02:00Apr 29th, 2015|

Empowering parents with knowledge regarding the importance of sleep and why a good night’s sleep is not only important for children, but for parents as well.

Sleep is an essential part of your day. Sleep is as important to the body as food. We need to eat and we need to sleep.  We need sleep in order to be healthy and to go on living our daily lives. Children need more sleep than adults.

Raising children through a divorce or separation

By |2019-05-02T19:43:19+02:00Apr 27th, 2015|

There is no easy way to deal with this – it’s emotional and it’s scary even for you as the adult. Most important thing to definitely communicate to the children involved is that nothing they could ever have done, could have caused the parents to make this decision. Children are extremely self-centered; their whole little universe revolves around them and they perceive everything that happens to be as a direct result of something that they've done or haven’t done.

Social Needs – our need for interaction and contact with friends and family (Part two)

By |2019-06-01T13:05:18+02:00Apr 26th, 2015|

Usually we move out of our families in the search for our own lives. Some people want to start their own families, while others want different things from life. But let’s assume that we all want to start our own families…how do we do that when we had a traumatic childhood. The answer, while complex, is simple – change the patterns. As children we don't have control over our lives, but as adults we do. Make different choices and don’t repeat the same mistakes. But before you can do that you need to be aware of the unrealistic or irrational expectations that you have. Awareness is the first step to change.

Healthy vs Unhealthy Sexuality

By |2015-03-18T19:18:00+02:00Mar 18th, 2015|

Here is the big problem: anything that can make us feel good or that gives us an intense feeling or “high” can become addictive or compulsive. This means that in a rather short period of time, we will need more or a more exaggerated dose to have the same feeling. After more than 5 years working in the field of substance abuse and addiction ….

Help! I think my child is being abused!

By |2019-05-02T19:23:01+02:00Feb 16th, 2015|

A forensic investigation and assessment will assist your child to make a more comprehensive disclosure in a way that is safe for your child but that will also hold up to scrutiny if this information has to go to court. This professional will also be able to advise you about the next steps and procedures. It is a very difficult road but your child can get through this with your help emotional support and commitment to their well-being. 
At Vita Nova we have the expertise and the right services to guide you through it all.

Holiday-Proofing Your Relationship

By |2014-12-11T10:00:00+02:00Dec 11th, 2014|

There is a common perception out there that relationships seem to take a turn for the worst during the holiday-season…and we can attest to that! After all; our busiest times are after long weekends or holidays… But is it really a case of relationships going wrong over December times, or might there be something else going on entirely?

Teach children how to communicate healthily and effectively

By |2014-12-04T08:00:00+02:00Dec 4th, 2014|

Healthy and effective communication between parent and child is a great way of ensuring that communication channels remain open. So really focus on your side of the conversation; model healthy and effective communication whenever you are talking or listening to someone and try and engage your child in conversational topics as often as possible.

Keeping secrets in a relationship

By |2014-11-21T11:00:00+02:00Nov 21st, 2014|

If it is a secret that has a direct impact on your partner, I feel it is your responsibility to come clean; regardless of what you fear your partner’s reaction might be. 
If it is something that happened somewhere long ago in your past and has absolutely no influence on your current relationship, make sure of your motivations and the outcome that you hope to achieve by sharing your secret. Will the reveal of this secret make you as a couple stronger, or help your partner to understand you better, or is it something that might do more harm than good.

New Baby in the family – How to prepare your child

By |2019-06-01T13:00:24+02:00Nov 20th, 2014|

This has the potential to become a pretty traumatic situation for children if they aren't prepared for it and if you as parents do not navigate their insecurities and fears adequately. Where he/she was once allowed to shout and play, he is now expected to be quiet and calm…

The Power of HEARING One Another in a Relationship

By |2014-11-19T11:00:00+02:00Nov 19th, 2014|

The definitions for “heard” given by Thefreedictionary.com include; “to learn by hearing” and “to listen attentively” and I think this about sums it up. We as human beings have the need to share our lives with one another and with that, the need for someone who wants to share our lives, who wants to learn more about who we are by listening attentively to us…

Marriage Counselling, The Internet and Social Media

By |2014-11-18T08:00:00+02:00Nov 18th, 2014|

Marriage counselling is not a magic wand that can be waved over your relationship, fixing everything on the spot. Marriage counselling is a tool you can use if you choose to do so. It requires a willingness from the parties involved, it requires you to put in the effort, to go and actively apply what you learn during the sessions to make it a success. So; how effective is marriage counselling? How effective do you want it to be?

How to keep the love alive in a relationship

By |2014-11-16T11:00:00+02:00Nov 16th, 2014|

I see quite a number of people who want things back to “the way they were” when they just started their relationship; and I get very surprised reactions when I tell them that this is impossible. You are not the people you married anymore. Things happen- life changes a person; your relationship changes you. The key here is to grow together; to keep that connection between the two of you. If a couple fails to do this, they might end up as two individuals; simply co-existing under one roof.

Communication and my relationship

By |2014-11-13T11:00:00+02:00Nov 13th, 2014|

As life goes on, challenges are faced, conquered or failed and we grow as people. Life throws its punches; left, right and centre and people adapt and change.  If we are not in constant communication with one another often, how do we ensure that we grow together, instead of apart?

If we cannot grow together; we end up as two individuals, co-existing under one roof…comfortable in our unhappiness…

Emotional abuse in your relationship

By |2014-11-09T08:37:00+02:00Nov 9th, 2014|

BREAK THE CYCLE OF ABUSE. It can end with you. You don’t have to stay in an abusive relationship – you can break free. Get out of the relationship before you lose yourself completely. Some of us actually don’t view the acts in this article as abusive – to us it might be a normal way of communicating. But it’s not. Become aware of your own abusive behavior and change it.

Is there a future after infidelity?

By |2014-11-06T06:00:00+02:00Nov 6th, 2014|

It also includes an array of emotions that can be absolutely all-consuming at times: anger, grief, loneliness, self-doubt, depression, distrust and constant suspicion; on the side of the betrayed. But the betrayer also goes through a lot of emotions on his/her side: overpowering guilt, anger at self, helplessness the list is surprisingly long. An affair rarely happens in a vacuum, so often times there are other underlying issues; besides the affair and the consequences thereof, that also needs attention.

Stilstuipe in ‘n verhouding

By |2014-11-05T08:37:00+02:00Nov 5th, 2014|

Die herhaalde en langdurige gebruik van stilstuipe in verhoudings, lei daartoe dat die ander party (slagoffer) in die verhouding nie die vrymoedigheid het om eerlik te wees oor emosies en of gedagtes nie omdat hy/sy die uitsluiting vrees. Stilstuipe maak dus openhartige en eerlike kommunikasie onmoontlik en sonder effektiewe en gesonde kommunikasie tussen twee mense, is 'n gesonde gebalanseerde en bevredigende verhouding onmoontlik.