About VitanovaPTA

This author has not yet filled in any details.
So far VitanovaPTA has created 143 blog entries.

My shame to an adventure of a lifetime – an article on Guilt and Shame

By |2019-11-12T08:17:36+02:00Nov 11th, 2019|

This shame and guilt led me to question everything in my life and led me to being more vulnerable to myself and to others. Brene Brown states; “The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be is incredibly adaptive. It's uncomfortable but it's adaptive.”

A very personal account of a journey to surviving infidelity – Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

By |2019-10-25T05:59:08+02:00Oct 25th, 2019|

The concept of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is generally quite well known in society these days. The problem was that although I could relate to the PTSD symptoms identified in research, most of the articles only mentioned people who experienced or witnessed a terrifying event such as assaults; murder or natural disasters. At the time I was unaware of PTSD for people who experienced infidelity and didn’t realise it actually existed. Even when I researched Infidelity PTSD, it was difficult to find any article’s mentioning it until I discovered one, written by Mitzi Bokmann (2019) that I could relate to. As I read through the PTSD symptoms, I realised that I experienced all of the symptoms and maybe by writing this article I can help others relate to it as well.

Parents; do you speak love?

By |2019-05-02T18:59:21+02:00Feb 11th, 2019|

It is well known that no two children are the same, not even when from the same parents. The same is true for the love language of your child. Every child perceive, understand and show love in different ways. What is important for one child, may not even be noticed by another child. And that is exactly where miscommunication and misunderstanding easily happens. 

Tieners, Stress en Temperament

By |2019-07-07T12:54:51+02:00Jan 16th, 2019|

Alle mense het ‘n sekere vlak van stress of uitdagings nodig om optimaal te kan funksioneer. Sonder enige uitdagings gaan niemand hul volle potensiaal besef en bereik nie. Party kinders kan egter stress beter hanteer as ander. Spanning en angs kan ‘n destruktiewe effek op ‘n tiener se emosionele gesondheid hê en kan selfs lei to angs versteurings. Indien jy as ouer bekommerd is dat jou kind ‘n angs versteuring ontwikkel is dit beter om professionele hulp in te kry sodat hy of sy die regte hulp ontvang.

2019 – My jaar van minder?

By |2019-07-07T12:55:49+02:00Jan 10th, 2019|

Oppad terug van vakansie af, het ons almal so om die beurt, ‘n bietjie gedeel waaroor ons opgewonde voel vir die jaar wat voorle. Na ek my kans gehad het, vra my man my ‘n baie interessante vraag: “Dit klink alles great, An…maar wat gaan jy hierdie jaar minder doen?”

Wat is Spelterapie?

By |2019-07-07T12:57:42+02:00Nov 24th, 2018|

Spel word gesien as die universiele taal van kinders, afgesien van etiese herkoms, agtergrond of sosio-ekonomiese geskiedenis. Spel oftewel “speel” word beskou as kinders se woorde, kinders gebruik spel in dieselfde manier as wat volwassenes woorde gebruik. Dikwels speel kinders hul probleme of emosies op ‘n simboliese manier uit, om sodoende hulself uit te druk.

Exam tips

By |2019-05-02T19:03:39+02:00Nov 12th, 2018|

One of the biggest mistakes we as parents can ever make, is making our children feel that our love for them and our acceptance of them depends on academic achievement. Your child needs to know that,no matter what, they are enough. It's so easy to compare our children with other kids and setting our expectations of them, based on other children's achievements and capabilities. Don't do this – every child differs and you need to help your child understand that his/her best really is good enough. Praise best effort, not high marks!

Italiaanse Romanse in jou verhouding

By |2019-07-07T12:58:24+02:00Nov 12th, 2018|

Anri raai paartjies aan om ‘n bietjie bewus te raak van al die klein, alledaagse dingetjies wat hul verhouding uniek maak en om te kies om dit waardevol te ag. ‘n Groot bos rooi rose sal enige meisie se hart laat smelt, maar die klein dingetjies soos koffie in die bed of sagte soentjies op jou voorkop, iemand wat aandagtig na jou luister terwyl hy/sy jou in die oë kyk terwyl jy praat…dis hierdie dinge wat ‘n gevoel van veiligheid en geliefdheid bring. Moet ook nie terughou om jou partner so te bederf nie

Navigate your relationships: Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road!

By |2019-05-02T18:57:05+02:00Sep 9th, 2018|

How much time do you actually invest in this relationship? No one needs to explain to anyone these days how busy life has gotten, and I get that. But what are we actually filling our days with? How many instances in your day to day life, has someone you desperately care for, asked for your attention, where you “had your hands full”?

The Importance of Attachment – a must read for every parent

By |2019-05-02T19:05:22+02:00May 3rd, 2018|

By making sure that you have a secure attachment with your child, you will help him learn that he is okay, worthy and good enough (at the very least). That you as his parents are trustworthy and that the world is a safe place that can be explored confidently. Most importantly, not only will you be giving your child a head start in life personally, but also interpersonally; when it comes to all his future relationships.

Getting divorced; but what about the kids?

By |2019-05-02T19:05:42+02:00Mar 26th, 2018|

Once a partner (the divorce initiator) informs the other partner that he or she wants a divorce the first thing they do; or the first advice they receive, is to get themselves a lawyer who can take care of the situation. Whilst it is not wrong to get a lawyer to represent you, there are other options to keep in mind. Many people are not knowledgeable about the law, especially the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 which provides guidelines as to how to go about a divorce when children are involved.

Verhoudings verg harde werk

By |2019-07-07T12:59:08+02:00Feb 19th, 2018|

‘n Verhouding bestaan uit twee diverse indivdue. Elkeen het ‘n unieke stel verwagtinge, unieke lewensuitkyke, unieke behoeftes en agtergronde. My idee van “hoe ‘n vrou behoort te wees en hoe ‘n man behoort te wees” word beinvloed deur my agtergrond, my voorbeelde, my keuses en my ervaringsleer. Al trou twee mense van baie enerse agtergronde met mekaar, is die klein verskille wat daar wel bestaan, steeds meer as voldoende om groot probleme te kan veroorsaak. En nou plaas ons hierdie twee, unieke mense onder een dak en ons sê “wees nou gelukkig” – dit is nie net so eenvoudig nie.

My Tween, Puberteit en Seksvoorligting

By |2019-07-07T13:02:05+02:00Nov 13th, 2017|

Ongelukkig lewe ons in ‘n wereld waar ons en ons kinders op ‘n daaglikes basis gebombardeer word met dinge van ‘n seksuele aard. Dit word as’t ware op ‘n silwer skinkbord agter ons aangedra en na ons toe uitgehou; om elke hoek en draai. Ons word stelselmatig so gedesensitiseer daardeur, dat ons dit self dalk nie eens meer agterkom nie. 

The role grandparents play in a child’s life

By |2019-05-02T19:07:16+02:00Oct 7th, 2017|

Especially in the teen years, the last person a child might like to turn to is the parents, and here a grandparent could be a shoulder to cry on, and the comfort here for parents is that the person your child turns to is usually someone you trust with regards to morals and values. Also because grandparents tend to not be as busy and rushed as parents are now a days; it’s a great place to truly get some quality attention. In short it’s an additional safe place for your child to turn to.

Ons huwelik en die verskillende fases van die lewe

By |2019-07-07T13:03:18+02:00Jun 14th, 2017|

Nie net dit nie, maar ons word bombardeer met Facebook-verhoudings. Foto’s van heerlike vakansies, lekker oomblikke saam, oë wat blink en brëe, gelukkige glimlagte, vul sosiale media op ‘n uurlikse basis. Hierdie bombardering skep by meeste mense ‘n totale vals persepsie van hoe huwelike werk en hoe “gelukkig” almal om hulle is. Daar is ‘n algemene tendens tussen meeste mense om hulself, hul verhoudinge en hul lewens te vergelyk met die brokkies inligiting en gedokterde foto’s op sosiale media. Die afleiding of gevolgtrekking wat dan hier gemaak word is dat daar fout is met hulle as paartjie. Die feit dat, dit ‘n split sekonde verg om ‘n foto te neem en dat meeste mense baie maklik, baie fake kan glimlag vir daardie split sekonde, word hoegenaamd nie in ag geneem nie; dis makliker om die valse prentjie wat geskep word as die waarheid te aanvaar.

Tuisbly ma of werkende ma?

By |2019-07-07T13:03:58+02:00Apr 30th, 2017|

Ek dink nie daar word net op huisvroue neergesien nie. Ek dink ons beweeg in ‘n tyd, waar die teenoorgestelde ook baie waar is. Sommige huisvroue sien maar net so neer op beroepsvroue.

Dit lê werklik swaar op my hart dat ons as vroue moet saamstaan. Dat ons moet ophou om mekaar sleg te maak, te kritiseer, te skinder en neer te kyk op mekaar. Elke vrou het haar eie paadjie wat sy stap, elke vrou het haar eie battles wat sy fight.

Lies and my relationship

By |2019-05-02T19:09:58+02:00Sep 29th, 2016|

Healthy relationships are ones where trust is a very definite and present component between two people. Dishonesty, for whatever reason, has the ability to shatter this trust, which could completely destroy the emotional connection and -security in a relationship. Intentions and context are relevant aspects to take into consideration, and there could be scenarios that do not warrant reactions of certain magnitudes. Once trust has been broken in a relationship though, even smaller, seemingly unimportant things, could become very definite triggers of emotional insecurity and suspicion. Although there are certain instances where lies and withholding of information are warranted to a degree…

A New Year, a New Mind-Set Towards Healthy Relationships With Adult Parents

By |2019-05-02T19:10:18+02:00Jan 28th, 2016|

Remember, parents are basically always going to be parental. This means that when a parent in some way gets involved in his or her adult child’s personal problems, the parental instincts will kick in. Years of powerful emotional connection simply cannot make way for clear and objective analysis, support and feedback. And when we have a third person or more involved (such as a spouse or grandchild), good intentions can lead to relational conflict no one hoped for.

Hoe kan JY 2016 die beste jaar ooit maak?

By |2019-07-07T13:05:00+02:00Jan 25th, 2016|

Die eerste maand van die jaar is al amper verby. Jy kan jou kalender amper al na Februarie omswaai. Dalk het jy nuwejaars voornemens vir jouself gemaak en het jy vol hoop beloftes gemaak dat 2016 die jaar sal wees waarin jy jou drome vervul, gaan reis, kookklasse neem, meer tyd aan jouself bestee, aan jou verhoudings gaan werk of ‘n nuwe stokperdjie beoefen. Dalk het jy die jaar ingestap met geen vooropgestelde idees of voornemens nie. Waar jy ookal op die kontinuum lê, is ek seker jy het hoop dat die jaar wat voorlê vol opwinding, sukses, goeie gesondheid, liefde en vrede sal wees, maar hoeveel beheer het jy nou eintlik oor wat die jaar vir jou inhou?