VitanovaPTA

We all know that playing is an important part of childhood and learning, but can play also be potentially valuable to adults….? My answer is yes, it can be. Playing can bring you into contact with feelings, experiences and thoughts that you have forgotten, or suppressed. Playing with adults can also unlock creativity and healthy integration between your mind and your body.

As a play therapist I don’t necessarily have a problem with children having access to the internet, social networks and cell phones. My concern is how the access is being controlled? Can we really control what our children might be exposed to? How do we implement rules and boundaries?

It most definitely is a lifelong process, but I think prospective adoptive parents can prepare effectively by educating themselves better on the issue of adoption. There are plenty of resources available books written on the topic, a number of experts in the field or join a support group in your area – get some information from other families who have been through this.

Raising children is a challenge for all parents. Unfortunately there is no book that teaches you how to be the perfect parent. I believe that parents do what they can, and sometimes they make mistakes – we all do. Raising children in a single parent household can be more challenging because of the lack of support.

We can very easily forgive people for assuming that our system is just another reward chart; there are so many out there already, so we don’t blame you at all! The difference between our system and the everyday reward chart; lays not in the chart, but in the 16 page instruction manual and information brochure that is included in your starter pack. This is also the reason why we insist on clients buying the starter pack before they can buy charts individually.

According to the Thesaurus dictionary; a gift is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. Hence it is clear that a gift should be something that is not coerced, but something given freely and without preconceived expectations. In all cultures there is an aspect of gift giving and it is apparent that gift giving is a fundamental part showing our appreciation and/love.

Think of this as a way of expressing love emotionally because words speak to the soul. Tell your partner how much you love him/her, how much you appreciate their presence in your life, how beautiful, how handsome they are etc. Dr Chapman talks of King Solomon’s words of wisdom when Solomon said that “The tongue has the power of life and death” 

For A young child, what my mommy and daddy think of me and my abilities – that's the truth. So I believe everything they say and think. If they say I'm the most beautiful little girl in the whole world – I know I am exactly that. So the parents are the primary influence on self-esteem and self-image

Don't listen to your spouse while doing something else. Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. If you are doing something you are keenly interested in, you cannot turn from it immediately e.g. watching TV, reading newspaper. Tell your spouse the truth. “I know you are trying to talk to me and I am interested, I want to give you my full attention. I can’t do that right now, but if you give me ten minutes to finish this. I will sit down and listen to you”.  

I start off by medicating the symptoms myself for a few days and try not to run too quickly to the doctor. I don't want to seem like a hypochondriac mom. But doubt has already set in and I start to question whether the medication is actually working. By the third or fourth day, my sick child is just about all I think about during my work day and all I seem to talk about.

The child might not remember the incident, but it has definite negative effects on the child's development. Childhood trauma is more damaging to younger children because the incident influences the child’s cognitive and emotional development – trauma also causes damage to the brain and can delay normal development. The child also does not understand what’s going on and the act of rape will be physically very painful and damaging.

Often times the meddling or over involvement is fuelled by one of the partners in the relationship –your husband might, for example be struggling to let go of the apron strings, or your wife might constantly be running to daddy to fix everything. The moment you get married to someone, that person becomes your primary family and that is where your loyalty lies; it’s the two of you against the world – and unfortunately your parents and your family of origin forms part of “the world”. 

Any temperament type can have a successful relationship with any other type. A successful relationship depends more on non-type-based factors, such as goals, core values, culture and religious beliefs. However, understanding your partner's temperament type is generally very beneficial to your relationship because it will give you a better understanding of your partner's way of thinking and their needs.

The trick to that first big day is to keep OUR emotions out the way so that our children are able to fully express theirs. How do we do this when we are so scared, anxious, relieved, proud or just plain overwhelmed?! I have prepared a list of do’s and don’ts that might help the unprepared parent.

But nothing can really prepare you for that first term. Not only are our children getting a lot of work in the classroom, but they also have to get into the routine of daily homework to help them understand their work better. Sport and cultural extra murals also come into the equation and make for an afternoon juggle of events. The older child in Primary school might be able to cope with all these, but for a 6 year old in Grade 1, it can be quite daunting….and as for the parent….if you have to cope with two or three children, well good luck to you!

Can you remember the last time you had child like fun? Like playing in the mud and getting dirty? As adults we get so busy with life that we forget to live! Play is the universal language of children. But, does that mean that adults are not allowed to play? 

Redefine what “winning an argument means”. Is winning an argument what happens when I can prove you wrong, when I can throw the most dirt…? An argument has the potential to destroy your relationship. On the other hand, sticking to your code of conduct, taking responsibility for your choices of behaviour and your reactions to your partner; can result in keeping your relationship safe – which, in my book, is a definite win for you both…

Once you’ve done ALL your research, looked at all the positives and negatives and made sure you have all the facts in order, your family can go ahead and make a decision. And stick to it! Be satisfied with your decision. It won’t help to keep double checking or being unsure after you have gone ahead with the decision. Remember, don’t be afraid to involve your children in decision making. Sometimes children come up with some simple answers when we tend to over think things. 

“On these days I catch myself being irritated and snappy with my children. It's on these days that I feel like coming home, flopping down on my bed, pulling the covers over my head and even have the fleeting thought of not wanting to be a mommy for the rest of the day. There, I said it out loud. I know this sounds selfish but there are lots of us out there. “

I find that children generally have too many toys to play with. How do you get around it when every other meal seems to come with a toy these days? What is this teaching our children? I have seen many children who have so many toys and yet still seem to demand instant gratification. They often don’t really PLAY with these toys and disregard their actual value. Losing a toy or even breaking one is of no significance as another one will be purchased soon or gotten in the next party pack.

What do you think of when you hear the term 'Old Fashioned Parenting'? It seems to have both negative and positive connotations to it. The negative would be that it is something that is outdated, a has been, something that it is now unachievable. The positive would be that is brings about some kind of feelings of familiarity, something that reminds us of the happy times in our childhood…

For a long time I have listened to people discussing house renovations or witnessed them attempting a paint job in their home. This especially occurs when a family is getting a family room or a nursery set up for some quality family time or for a new arrival. The question that is often asked is; what would be a good colour to paint the room? Will my choice affect the development of my baby, and will my house be warm and inviting to friends and family when they visit? I never really thought of it like that, many of us just choose a colour that is our favourite one or that is fashionable at the time. After reading up on the subject matter, I have come to believe that this topic does indeed have some value. But what do all the colours mean, and what affect do the different colours have on children?