VitanovaPTA

The child might not remember the incident, but it has definite negative effects on the child's development. Childhood trauma is more damaging to younger children because the incident influences the child’s cognitive and emotional development – trauma also causes damage to the brain and can delay normal development. The child also does not understand what’s going on and the act of rape will be physically very painful and damaging.

Often times the meddling or over involvement is fuelled by one of the partners in the relationship –your husband might, for example be struggling to let go of the apron strings, or your wife might constantly be running to daddy to fix everything. The moment you get married to someone, that person becomes your primary family and that is where your loyalty lies; it’s the two of you against the world – and unfortunately your parents and your family of origin forms part of “the world”. 

Any temperament type can have a successful relationship with any other type. A successful relationship depends more on non-type-based factors, such as goals, core values, culture and religious beliefs. However, understanding your partner's temperament type is generally very beneficial to your relationship because it will give you a better understanding of your partner's way of thinking and their needs.

The trick to that first big day is to keep OUR emotions out the way so that our children are able to fully express theirs. How do we do this when we are so scared, anxious, relieved, proud or just plain overwhelmed?! I have prepared a list of do’s and don’ts that might help the unprepared parent.

But nothing can really prepare you for that first term. Not only are our children getting a lot of work in the classroom, but they also have to get into the routine of daily homework to help them understand their work better. Sport and cultural extra murals also come into the equation and make for an afternoon juggle of events. The older child in Primary school might be able to cope with all these, but for a 6 year old in Grade 1, it can be quite daunting….and as for the parent….if you have to cope with two or three children, well good luck to you!

Can you remember the last time you had child like fun? Like playing in the mud and getting dirty? As adults we get so busy with life that we forget to live! Play is the universal language of children. But, does that mean that adults are not allowed to play? 

Redefine what “winning an argument means”. Is winning an argument what happens when I can prove you wrong, when I can throw the most dirt…? An argument has the potential to destroy your relationship. On the other hand, sticking to your code of conduct, taking responsibility for your choices of behaviour and your reactions to your partner; can result in keeping your relationship safe – which, in my book, is a definite win for you both…

Once you’ve done ALL your research, looked at all the positives and negatives and made sure you have all the facts in order, your family can go ahead and make a decision. And stick to it! Be satisfied with your decision. It won’t help to keep double checking or being unsure after you have gone ahead with the decision. Remember, don’t be afraid to involve your children in decision making. Sometimes children come up with some simple answers when we tend to over think things. 

“On these days I catch myself being irritated and snappy with my children. It's on these days that I feel like coming home, flopping down on my bed, pulling the covers over my head and even have the fleeting thought of not wanting to be a mommy for the rest of the day. There, I said it out loud. I know this sounds selfish but there are lots of us out there. “

I find that children generally have too many toys to play with. How do you get around it when every other meal seems to come with a toy these days? What is this teaching our children? I have seen many children who have so many toys and yet still seem to demand instant gratification. They often don’t really PLAY with these toys and disregard their actual value. Losing a toy or even breaking one is of no significance as another one will be purchased soon or gotten in the next party pack.

What do you think of when you hear the term 'Old Fashioned Parenting'? It seems to have both negative and positive connotations to it. The negative would be that it is something that is outdated, a has been, something that it is now unachievable. The positive would be that is brings about some kind of feelings of familiarity, something that reminds us of the happy times in our childhood…

For a long time I have listened to people discussing house renovations or witnessed them attempting a paint job in their home. This especially occurs when a family is getting a family room or a nursery set up for some quality family time or for a new arrival. The question that is often asked is; what would be a good colour to paint the room? Will my choice affect the development of my baby, and will my house be warm and inviting to friends and family when they visit? I never really thought of it like that, many of us just choose a colour that is our favourite one or that is fashionable at the time. After reading up on the subject matter, I have come to believe that this topic does indeed have some value. But what do all the colours mean, and what affect do the different colours have on children?

Now I'm not saying we must be perfect at it all the time. Parents make mistakes. I know I certainly have. Said the wrong thing now and then or allowed something to go ahead when I know I shouldn't have. (Teachers also get to hear about these mistakes which the children blatantly blab about!). But we as parents do need to make a concerted effort all the time.

Is this maybe not the reason why teachers are more likely to complain about these issues when they are telling stories about their teaching experiences? Because the playing of traditional outdoor games is on its way to being instinct, so too a fully well developed; -mentally and -physically, young child is following in its footsteps.

But what if you are one of the many people “stuck” in a dead end relationship who actually wishes that the world would have come to an end just so that you did not have to wake up next to that same person… ever again; (your vows did say “till death do us part” and not a minute longer, after all) only to now be faced with the reality that it's you and your partner; again, starting a new year… together… again…