Verhoudings is nie altyd maklik nie… en om op te breek is soms bitter swaar; veral as dit 'n langtermyn verhouding was. Al wil sommige van ons dit dalk graag ontken, is dit tog maar 'n proses om deur dinge te werk en te kan aanbeweeg. In hierdie artikel, beantwoord ek 'n paar vrae rondom verhoudinge en ekse.
Healthy relationships are ones where trust is a very definite and present component between two people. Dishonesty, for whatever reason, has the ability to shatter this trust, which could completely destroy the emotional connection and -security in a relationship. Intentions and context are relevant aspects to take into consideration, and there could be scenarios that do not warrant reactions of certain magnitudes. Once trust has been broken in a relationship though, even smaller, seemingly unimportant things, could become very definite triggers of emotional insecurity and suspicion. Although there are certain instances where lies and withholding of information are warranted to a degree…
Remember, parents are basically always going to be parental. This means that when a parent in some way gets involved in his or her adult child’s personal problems, the parental instincts will kick in. Years of powerful emotional connection simply cannot make way for clear and objective analysis, support and feedback. And when we have a third person or more involved (such as a spouse or grandchild), good intentions can lead to relational conflict no one hoped for.
Die eerste maand van die jaar is al amper verby. Jy kan jou kalender amper al na Februarie omswaai. Dalk het jy nuwejaars voornemens vir jouself gemaak en het jy vol hoop beloftes gemaak dat 2016 die jaar sal wees waarin jy jou drome vervul, gaan reis, kookklasse neem, meer tyd aan jouself bestee, aan jou verhoudings gaan werk of ‘n nuwe stokperdjie beoefen. Dalk het jy die jaar ingestap met geen vooropgestelde idees of voornemens nie. Waar jy ookal op die kontinuum lê, is ek seker jy het hoop dat die jaar wat voorlê vol opwinding, sukses, goeie gesondheid, liefde en vrede sal wees, maar hoeveel beheer het jy nou eintlik oor wat die jaar vir jou inhou?
Happiness is a state of mind. It is created by one’s own mental well- being. Hundreds of self-help books exist that point to how this can be achieved. However, the reader during this exploration does not meet the opportunity to share their thoughts. Thus not obtaining much needed feedback on their thinking processes that would deepen their understanding.
“In the mirror I see a creature that I must unwillingly share my mind and heart with. I feel alone in a world filled with people, and yet it all seems silent and meaningless. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world, some days I can’t even find the courage to get up and get dressed. I feel like I’m in a constant state of confusion, a constant rollercoaster ride that never ends. The people close to me feel very far away…they don’t understand. Yet I don’t want them to. I don’t want others to feel the way that I do, to live with the monster that I have become. Will I ever get better? Is there any hope in a world that judges you as weak and crazy, a world that seems cold and dark… I just don’t know. Sometimes I just want to be alone, hiding from the world, yet the loneliness can be unbearable.”
Having worked in the field of mental health as a professional counsellor for the last 10 years I have had to deal with the concept of “addiction” more often than not. The last 4 years I have also worked on a daily basis at an inpatient alcohol and drug rehabilitation clinic. What I came to understand was that some of the core behaviours of an addiction problem really seem to be universal to almost all of the behaviours we might categorize under the word addiction. Whether we are talking about obsessive and compulsive behaviours such as eating disorders, compulsive gambling, alcohol and drug abuse/dependency, sexual compulsivity, or any other phenomenon where the word “addiction” comes to mind, we see a certain number of behaviour and thought patterns which look almost exactly the same in each of the abovementioned behaviours.
A psychological assessment of a young child’s readiness takes into consideration as many factors as possible that could impact on the child’s formative years and initial experiences of school. It is followed by a detailed background record, pre-school reports, parent interviews, and other collateral evidence which might assist the psychologist to get a full profile of the child.
We as parents are obligated to know that children’s developmental needs are different for each child and that children mature differently. Each child is an individual with specific talents and in some cases deficits. Your children are mostly writing exams at this time of the year. The report will be a good indicator of where support and guidance is needed. But we also need to remember that academia is but one part of the child’s growing up. Blaming the school for the child not progressing would be too simplistic, as we know, that school is but one factor that determines academic success.
Hierdie artikel is deel van ‘n reeks artikels wat fokus op die verskillende eetversteurings waaraan individue ly. Die eerste artikel genaamd ‘7 miete en feite: Wanneer ‘n eetversteuring jou insluk…’ was ‘n inleiding tot eetversteurings en het verskillende kwessies soos mietes en feite aangespreek. Die tweede artikel het gefokus op twee unieke eetversteuring wat nie alombekend is nie, maar wat individue wel aan ly: Pica eetversteuring en herkou eetversteuring.
Hierdie artikel sal Anorexia Nervosa en vermydende/beperkte voedselinname eetversteuring beskryf.
Die term PICA kom van die Latynse woord ‘magpie’ af. Magpie is ‘n Europese voël (amper soos ‘n kraai), wat bekend is vir sy onoordeelkundige eetlus van eienaardige voorwerpe, die voël eet omtrent enigeiets. Vandag word die term Pica gebruik om individue met `n kompulsiewe behoefte om te eet, te kou, of te lek, aan nie-voedselitems soos byvoorbeeld grond, kryt of verf, ens te beskryf en te diagnoseer.
Attachment forms during the first couple of years of a child’s life. A parent or caregiver’s emotional availability for the child from the day of birth is extremely important. Attachment forms when a caregiver is sensitive to needs of the child and reacts to these needs appropriately. The first four years of a toddlers life is viewed as the fundamental time when attachment forms. The manner in how the parent or caregiver communicates with the child on both a verbal and non-verbal manner has a significant impact on how the child will view the world. The type of attachment that your child will develop, will affect the attachment (whether secure of insecure) your child will have, not only with you, but also with their peers and others they will meet on their journey in this world. Parents or caregivers are the main players in a child’s life and will often determine whether a child develops a secure or an insecure attachment.
Most people expect the arrival of a new baby as a happy event, a blessing and in most cases that is true. But as a new mom having a baby comes with some fears and this can cause some anxiety that moms either deny or they don’t talk about. Moms might go through a short period of anxiety and tearfulness which is known as “the baby blues”. These feelings usually go away within about two weeks. If however moms develop a more intense and deeper depression, this is known as post-partum depression.
Eet is belangrik, voedsel hou ons tog aan die lewe. Maar wanneer ‘n individu ‘n versteuring in hulle eetgewoontes ontwikkel kan dit so 'n groot impak hê dat die res van hul funksionering negatief beinvloed sal word. Vir 'n individu wat met 'n eetversteuring worstel, is dit dikwels 'n baie moeilike, eensame pad na herstel.
I honestly think using rewards to change or enhance behaviors in children is an excellent and positive tool. We often fall into the habit of focusing only on the misbehavior of our children, and then punishing them for that; either by taking away privileges, spanking, yelling, threatening and the problem here is that this negative focus on the child, very seldom has a long term effect in changing the behavior.
Between 18 months and 2 years old, for example, a child has a deep seated need to do things for him or herself, and if an older brother or sister, who wants to be a good helper and who wants to do everything for the younger one then comes and interferes, that could cause a lot of frustration-on both sides.
And so we can go through all the different stages of life and have a number of situations that could cause rivalry.
‘n Kleuter se spel begin baie selfgesentreerd en word later meer sosiaal soos hulle met ander kinders in interaksie tree. Dit is dus nie vreemd as jou kleuter op sy eie kan speel en met homself praat nie.
Daar is ‘n baie spesifieke rede waarom daar na die kleuter jare as die “terrible two’s and three’s” verwys word. Wanneer ek aan ‘n kleuter dink, kom twee stellings sterk na vore: “Nee” en “ek wil self”. Gedurende hierdie fase begin jou kind sy taalvaardighede, geheue en verbeelding te ontwikkel
Gehegtheid is die band tussen ‘n baba en sy versorger. ‘n Gesonde, vaste gehegtheid sal die grootste invloed op ‘n kind se emosionele ontwikkeling as baba, kind, tiener en later as volwassene hê. Die ervarings van vroeë gehegtheid het lewenslank 'n uitwerking op ‘n kind se emosionele ontwikkeling. ‘n Gesonde, vaste gehegtheid is noodsaaklik vir ‘n individu, om ‘n funksionele lewe te lei.
A parenting plan is a legally constituted document provided for in the Children's Act 2005 of South Africa. It covers various aspects related to the care and contact of minor children born out of a marriage or any other relationship. The plan should always be in the best interest to the child/children. The parenting plan contains the negotiated decisions of both parents regarding the upbringing of their children.
Empowering parents with knowledge regarding the importance of sleep and why a good night’s sleep is not only important for children, but for parents as well.
Sleep is an essential part of your day. Sleep is as important to the body as food. We need to eat and we need to sleep. We need sleep in order to be healthy and to go on living our daily lives. Children need more sleep than adults.
“Moenie jou energie mors deur ‘n leun te lewe nie. Gebruik daardie energie om te kan verander wat jy kan en aanvaar die dinge wat jy nie kan verander nie. Wees wie jy gemaak is om te wees – want daardie persoon is uniek en wonderlik.”
There is no easy way to deal with this – it’s emotional and it’s scary even for you as the adult. Most important thing to definitely communicate to the children involved is that nothing they could ever have done, could have caused the parents to make this decision. Children are extremely self-centered; their whole little universe revolves around them and they perceive everything that happens to be as a direct result of something that they've done or haven’t done.
I would now like you to take a moment to think about your friends. What does the word friendship mean to you? How many friends do you have? Are they single or in relationships? Are you currently not spending time with friends, or are you still going out regularly? Do you go out as a couple or alone? You should also ask yourself whether your current friendships are life giving or life taking to your romantic relationship. If it’s not life giving you are going to have to change it. Make sure that you and your partner talk about your social needs.
Usually we move out of our families in the search for our own lives. Some people want to start their own families, while others want different things from life. But let’s assume that we all want to start our own families…how do we do that when we had a traumatic childhood. The answer, while complex, is simple – change the patterns. As children we don't have control over our lives, but as adults we do. Make different choices and don’t repeat the same mistakes. But before you can do that you need to be aware of the unrealistic or irrational expectations that you have. Awareness is the first step to change.
I don't believe that the power of positive thoughts has the ability to trump all other factors in play. I don't for one moment believe that I can pass an exam, on the power of positive thinking alone for example – maybe I just don't get it. In my opinion; that’s pure stupidity…or wishful thinking at the very least. I do however believe; with all my heart; that our thoughts very definitely can and do influence our emotions and our experiences; no doubt about that!
