There are a lot of little quotes regarding forgiveness that often pops up on Facebook pages or in emails that we share with one another. And, when reading them, it’s almost funny how simple and easy it all sounds.
The fact of the matter is; Forgiveness is extremely difficult. We are held captive by the memories of what happened and the emotions that haunt us. We are held captive by the fear surrounding forgiveness. A fear driven by all the different “what ifs”. As I’ve stated in the previous article, Forgiveness starts with a choice; one that only you can make for yourself. Now you might agree with all of it; “Yes Forgiveness is necessary if we have any hope of moving forward, yes it is a choice that I personally have to make and yes I do not want the past or my emotions to define me…if only I could.”
The mistake that a lot of people make when approaching forgiveness, is that they believe that, once you’ve made the choice to forgive, it automatically has to be over and done with. Forgive and forget and move on. And it is in this misunderstanding – one of many regarding forgiveness I believe, that the problem lays. We do not have super powers! We are mere mortals, human beings and our emotions are strong willed, our thoughts often have a mind and a will of their own as well. Today you might feel ready to forgive, to move on and to put the past behind you. But tomorrow you wake up and it torments you all over again. Even though you might logically comprehend the necessity of forgiving, practically speaking, it is a whole different story. And it is so easy to then give up hope, to feel like a failure in all of this. Cut yourself some slack!
The secret to sincere forgiveness lays in understanding that forgiveness is a process. It is a choice that you have to make over and over again. At first, maybe every hour, later on, you’ll have to choose it probably once a day…once a week…every two weeks. Forgiving takes a lot of hard work! And it takes time. So if you are currently struggling with forgiving someone, if you are beating yourself up because you cannot seem to get it right, because you’ve said that you have forgiven, but the memories and the hurt are still there…that’s alright! You just work on it every day. You choose forgiveness everyday…and you live it. Easier said than done, believe me, but there are a few practical tips that I will share with you, that might make the process of forgiveness a little easier.
My next article in the Forgiveness series will be devoted to the how regarding all of this, how do I put all of this into practice!?
Till then, every time you feel hurt, you feel afraid, you feel sad and lonely…choose to forgive, take a deep breath and understand that this is going to take time.
Article 1 – What is Sincere Forgiveness
Article 2 – Forgiveness Starts With A Choice
Article 3 – Forgiveness Is A Process