Love Languages - Gift of Giving

Do you feel most loved when someone brings you gifts or some tangible item, no matter how small or inexpensive? If you answered yes to this it probably means that receiving gifts is one of your love languages if not your primary love language. However I think it would be enlightening to have an understanding of what a gift is.

According to the Thesaurus dictionary; a gift is something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation. Hence it is clear that a gift should be something that is not coerced, but something given freely and without preconceived expectations. In all cultures there is an aspect of gift giving and it is apparent that gift giving is a fundamental part showing our appreciation and/love.

In the larger scheme of life, gifts carry with it a lot more weight than just the gift itself. The appropriateness of a gift is based on many factors:

  • our relationship to the person receiving the gift,
  • the occasion for the gift,
  • how long we have known the person,
  • our income,
  • the other person's needs,
  • and sometimes what we have given to others on a similar occasion.

A gift is a symbol of thought-of-love, hence when you give your partner something from the heart it says “I was thinking about you”. It is important to put thoughts into a gift in terms of; what is your spouses’ favorite color, what brand does he/she like and most importantly can you afford this. I mean, can you imagine how your spouse would feel if you went and spent your lease money on a gift…? The idea is to be realistic yet passionate about what you are giving.

It’s not about the price tag on the item, hence a gift is not always materialistic, it can be the gift of presence. Your availability towards your spouse can be a gift on its own. We spend so much of our time running around between work, children, friends, extended family etc, we hardly take time just to be there with our partners. Often if you keep your ears open as you spend time with your spouse, you will hear what he or she wants. When you hear these comments, make a mental note or write it down.

Of course for some people giving comes naturally because of their personalities and background, while for others it’s a battle between “a bunch of roses for my wife” or “ New tires for my car’.

Unexpected and spontaneous gifts do wonders for your mate's love quotient. However we need to be cautious about the whole gender issue. I know for a fact that if my husband buys me a new mop and a bucket as a gift I wouldn’t be too thrilled and I know many women out there would agree with me. On the flip side if I buy him new lawn mower he would be excited.

Most men are more mechanical when it comes to gifts while women like me would be much happier receiving a card than a mop and a bucket.

Gifts need to be given on a regular basis, but need not always be bought. Here are some ideas for communicating with a mate whose primary love language is gifts:

·         Buy a box of chocolates

·         Serve her breakfast in bed

·         Make his favorite meal

·         Pick out his clothes in the morning

·         Send a romantic SMS or e-mail while they are at work

Start doing this today and you will be surprised at what a tremendous change you will see in your partner and naturally you will start to enjoy benefits of your investments; because when your partner is happy you are happy.

Also read:
Love Languages – Physical Touch – By Tondani Mukhanu 
Love Languages – Quality Time in a Relationship – By Tondani Mukhanu 
Love Languages – Words of Affirmation – By Tondani Mukhanu

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