Ever heard of the expression “Actions speak louder than words?” well, there is an element of truth to that, however it’s my perception that actions can sometimes be misinterpreted, hence they end up not speaking so loud after all.
The fact is we all have had a day in our lives that we just needed someone to just say something good to us. If words of affirmation is your primary love language, then unsolicited words of compliments mean the world to you. To ‘affirm’ something is to confirm its truth and to strengthen it, so whenever you say something good to your spouse, think of it as adding value to their self actualization.
Think of this as a way of expressing love emotionally because words speak to the soul. Tell your partner how much you love him/her, how much you appreciate their presence in your life, how beautiful, how handsome they are etc. Dr Chapman talks of King Solomon’s words of wisdom when Solomon said that “The tongue has the power of life and death”
The way that we speak to our partners can provide them life or emotional death. Do not under estimate the power of words especially if you partners’ primary love language is Words of affirmation because; something that you might regard as petty such as “I love you” could actually mean the world to him/her. We tend to say “you got me now, what more do you want?…”
Start practicing today to say things like:
· I love u
· You are beautiful/handsome
· You look great in that suit
· I really appreciate you washing the dishes tonight
· Thank you for taking care of the children
· You are a great cook etc.
When we provide positive words to our spouse, they are more likely to do the same for us, however we need to be careful not to think of this as a bartering system were we give and take, but as an investment towards a loving and fulfilling relationship. Do not do this as a favor or to flatter your spouse to get what you want, but do this unselfishly for yourself.
Words are a reflection of our thoughts. Positive words come from positive thoughts, negative words from negative thoughts. It is really that simple. Watch the words that come out of your mouth and you will have a good idea of the direction your thoughts are facing, and as a result, your life.
Remember, “An anxious word wears a man down, but a soft answer turns away wreath”.
Also read:
Love Languages – Physical Touch – By Tondani Mukhanu
Love Languages – Quality Time in a Relationship – By Tondani Mukhanu
Love Languages – The Gift Of Giving – By Tondani Mukhanu
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