Conflict in a relationship is a given. Managing the conflict constructively requires the willingness to do so as well as having patience and the skill to do so. To address conflict constructively requires for us to focus on the issue, not myself or my partner.
Working at our relationship in my opinion is a balance of give and take, a balance between having our needs met and being selfless. We will at times feel vulnerable and at other times need to be strong. We will at times be wrong, and at times make correct decisions. It is about shifting our focus from “I” to “us”.
All of us are unique. Therefore, every couple is different. And so too, are our relationships. Intimacy. Emotional or physical connection? Or both?
In assisting couples with communication, we explore their “love language”, skills in expressing themselves more constructively as well as ways to deal with conflict. Once you recognize the conflict pattern you're stuck in, you can begin to learn the skills needed to change it. Communication can be easy and effective, let’s not complicate it.
We have two ears and one mouth. This is no coincidence. We usually avoid difficult conversations when we feel good, but when we are stressed or tired, we deliberately or unintentionally let slip what is deep inside because we can’t keep it in. Marital communication helps us to connect with each other emotionally, but how is the right way to go about it?
In a marriage or relationship respect is about viewing and treating ourselves and our partner in a positive light, as someone who brings value to me as person but also the relationship we share. "Respect is earned, not given…" But what does this mean?
Partnership describes the functionality of our relationship. A marriage partnership does not bluntly imply the “terms and conditions” of our relationship, and although, like in business, we may be bound by a verbal or written agreement and follow similar principles, relationships refer to the guidelines we follow on a day-to-day basis.
All of us are unique. Therefore, every couple is different. And so are our relationships. There is no one-size-fits-all magic formula for “living happily ever after”. Marriage requires commitment, effort, and sacrifice. Marriage and relationships can and do work, despite the overwhelming reports of divorce or breaking up and its implications on our social and emotional well-being. The issue at stake is not the marriage or relationship. The issue is whether we as individuals have what it takes, or at least try to contribute towards developing and sustaining a meaningful partnership, making this work. And when we struggle, are we willing to seek support or guidance?
