Let’s Talk About It: Why Men’s Mental Health Matters

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. It’s not just a box on the calendar. It’s a chance to pause and ask:
How are you really doing?

In South Africa, men face unique pressures. Many are providers, protectors, and leaders in their families and communities. But carrying all that responsibility can get heavy. Sadly, too many men feel they must carry it alone.

The World Health Organization (2019) shows men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women. In our own communities, we often hear of men who suddenly “snapped” or who seemed fine until they weren’t. The signs are often missed because men are taught to hide their pain.

But here’s the truth:
You don’t have to suffer in silence. Help is available. You deserve to feel better.

The Silent Struggles Men Face

Growing up in South Africa, many boys hear the same message over and over:

  • “Be strong.”
  • “Don’t cry.”
  • “Man up.”

These words can make men believe that showing feelings is weak. As a result, many men bottle up their sadness, anger, or fear until it overflows.

Men often show mental health struggles in ways people don’t expect.
Instead of saying, “I’m depressed,” a man might:

  • Get angry quickly over small things
  • Start drinking more to escape or feel numb
  • Pull away from loved ones and spend more time alone
  • Feel constantly tired with no medical reason
  • Experience body pains that don’t go away

If you see these signs in yourself or someone close to you, please don’t ignore them. These are loud cries for help, even when no words are spoken.

It’s OK to Ask for Help

It’s normal to feel unsure or even scared to ask for help.
You might worry:

  • “What will people think?”
  • “Will I seem weak?”
  • “Can I trust anyone with this?”

But the truth is, asking for help is an act of courage, not weakness.

Speaking to someone can save your life. Even talking to just one trusted person can open a door to healing. This could be:

  • A friend you’ve known for years
  • Your partner or sibling
  • A colleague you feel safe with
  • A pastor, imam, or community elder
  • A professional counsellor

If talking face-to-face feels too hard right now, that’s OK. There are free helplines you can call, day or night, where people will listen without judging you.

Reach out today:

  • SADAG Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567
  • SADAG Mental Health Helpline: 0800 456 789
  • Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Helpline: 0800 428 428

You don’t have to tell your whole story at once. Just start by saying,
“I’m not OK, and I need someone to talk to.”

That’s more than enough.

Five Simple Steps to Start Feeling Better

You don’t have to fix everything overnight. Healing is a journey, and every small step counts. Here are five things you can start doing today:

1. Talk to Someone

Start small. You don’t have to give a speech or explain everything.
You could simply say:

  • “Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.”
  • “I’m not coping well right now.”
  • “Can we talk? I just need someone to listen.”

Talking helps release the pressure. It can also help you see things from a new perspective. Sometimes, just being heard is a huge relief.

2. Move Your Body

Physical activity is a powerful medicine for your mind. You don’t need fancy equipment or a gym contract. Try:

  • Walking around your block
  • Playing soccer with your friends
  • Doing push-ups at home
  • Digging in the garden

Even 20 minutes a day can help improve your mood, release stress, and give you a sense of control. Movement helps your body process built-up tension.

3. Spend Time in Nature

South Africa’s beauty is healing. Whether it’s sitting quietly on your stoep, walking on the beach, hiking in the mountains, or visiting a local park, nature offers peace and perspective.

Even a short walk under the open sky can:

  • Slow your racing thoughts
  • Soothe anxiety
  • Lift feelings of sadness

Spending time outdoors also reminds us that we are part of something bigger, and that life keeps moving.

4. Get Enough Sleep

Lack of sleep can make everything feel worse. When you’re tired, you’re more likely to feel irritable, sad, or hopeless.

Try to:

  • Keep regular sleeping hours, even on weekends
  • Switch off your phone, TV, or radio at least 30 minutes before bed
  • Avoid caffeine and alcohol before bedtime

Rest is not a luxury. It’s essential for your mental strength.

5. Connect with Your Community

Isolation can make you feel trapped. But staying connected through church, soccer teams, neighbourhood braais, or family gatherings all can help lift you up.

You don’t have to share your struggles with everyone. Just being around people who care about you can bring comfort and hope.

If you can’t attend in person, phone or WhatsApp check-ins are also meaningful. Regular, simple contact with others is one of the most protective things for your mental health.

Quick Help Checklist

  • Save a helpline number in your phone right now.
  • Reach out to one person this week, even if just a message.
  • Get some fresh air and move your body every day.
  • Try to sleep at the same time each night.
  • Make space for men’s conversations be it at work, at church, in your community group.

Final Thoughts: You Matter

Being a man in South Africa today comes with many challenges as providing for your family, protecting your community, facing unemployment, overcoming loss are prominent issues faced by many men.

But please remember:
Your life is precious. You are not a burden. You are worthy of love, rest, and support.

Even when you feel lost, there is a path forward.
Even when you feel alone, people care.
Even when you feel hopeless, you can get better.

As an ASCHP Specialist Wellness Counsellor, I want to tell you this clearly:
There is no shame in struggling. There is only strength in choosing to keep going.

Help is here.
Help works.
And most importantly, you are not alone.

The Author: Robert Ellison (Specialist Wellness Counsellor)

More about Robert Ellison: https://www.vitanova.co.za/meet-the-team/robert-ellison-specialist-wellness-counsellor/

To schedule a session with the author or any of our counsellors at Vita Nova, please contact us on 0712979992, or go to www.vitanova.co.za. We offer a range of counselling services and have interns that can provide you with assistance for free if you are not in a position to afford therapy.

For 24 hr assistance on mental health matters contact SADAG on 0800 567 567

Help is always available.

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