Growing up, growing old and becoming an adult is an inevitable condition of human life (by the grace of whichever divine or non-divine figure one associates with). It is therefore to be expected that life presents itself in a similar fashion in the manner in which we experience seasons – purposeful, necessary, but more importantly, temporary. Experiencing seasons of toddlerhood and childhood, adolescence, tweenhood, young adult and adulthood are necessary for human growth and development. It is these seasons of growth that brings change (both positive and uncomfortable), excitement, happiness, anxiety, stress, but most noticeably in today’s day and age, uncertainty. Uncertainty of the future – something we cannot predict, study or have forehand knowledge on – can leave many feeling stuck, worried, or prompt feelings of “life is catching up with me”. These feelings can further be exacerbated by societal pressures and standards, particularly the ‘married-by-30-with-kids-and-a-house’ ideology running rampant in the minds of our mid-20’s global populations. Thus, the topic of conversation presents itself: What is the quarter-life crisis? And how do I navigate this?

We’ve heard of the mid-life crisis (the feeling of overwhelm from the ages of 40 years and up that things are not quite what they should be, wondering if we’ve done the right things with our lives, accomplished what we’ve needed to whilst feeling like time is running out to accomplish more, regretting not doing the things we’ve always wanted to do, ruminating mistakes and mishaps of our past and a plethora of others), however, what is the quarter-life crisis? In simple terms, this relates to individuals in the mid 20’s and up age bracket who feel as though they haven’t quite figured life out as yet, whilst societal pressures bash them into a cornered mindset of achieving a standard that flourished a few decades ago, but no longer serves us.

The real answer? It is somewhat more complex. Society’s pivotal role in maintaining the natural order of things seems to be lagging behind in our modern-day era, and it is for this very reason, that such a limiting and restrictive ideology is created, and perpetuates a high level of large-scale perturbation on the adult-youth across the globe. As society evolves, as must the behaviour, ideology and movement of human beings evolve – a positive relationship toward growth. These outdated ideologies place immense pressure on the adult-youth to achieve standards that only served the best interests of society decades prior to the current day society we live in today. Women and people of colour have rights, children have rights, the economic climate today is far different (and arguably far less “youth-friendly”) than ever before, thus, a crucial need to adapt to modern-day living is needed.

In essence, the quarter-life crisis is the immense overwhelm and emotional impact on the adult-youth to be established in a specific position within society in order to be considered successful, self-actualised, competent, productive, and of worth to those who live in it. More bluntly put, it is also the pressure to feel like an ‘actual-adult’, to ‘know what you’re doing’, and to have your “stuff” together (profanity, is not included in this article, as you may well know). To the adult-youth, lend me your eyes and ears, as this article is just for you. Let us bond in our strife and struggle in this time together, express our collective concerns, and make sense of why we’re in the position we are in, and in fact, be reassured in knowing that the challenges we are facing are largely not a fault of our own, but can be rooted in a system that no longer work for us, and more often than not, works against us, our aspirations, ambitions, dreams, and survivability.

What challenges do the adult-youth face today that prompt the quarter-life crisis?

Challenges? Bucketloads. These challenges aren’t simply the ones faced internally (the mental torture of comparison, low self-worth and image, self-doubt, anxiety, and others), but actual barriers that prevent the adult-youth from becoming what we have been told for decades we need to become – the ultimate employee. Constructing such a sentence – and perhaps reading such a statement- should prompt a sense of anger. We have been placed in a mental prison comprised of sticks – easily broken down, but creating an illusion of entrapment from which we cannot escape. Our hopes and dreams as children change from “I want to be X when I grow up” to “I need to be this to be worthy/successful/ to survive”. A morbid turn of events, to neglect our inner child. In light of this, let us discuss – in detail – the real-lived challenges and pressures our adult-youth face today, with particular attention to the South African population.

Physical Impact: Jobs

Job scarcity in South Africa is not an unknown phenomenon, nor is keeping a healthy, decent-paying job either (depending on what your version of “decent-paying” is). Decades prior, it has been drilled into the youth that once completing 12 years of primary and secondary education, university is the way to go. Now, after immense sacrifice, dedication, late night-studying, and surviving a full-blown pandemic, we’ve acquired the qualifications, we should now achieve the employment we’ve been working towards, correct? Wrong. A qualification is not entirely sufficient in contemporary South Africa in order to secure well-paying employment that can guarantee the survivability and independence of the adult-youth of today. In accordance with Stats SA from Ecofin Agency (2025), the youth unemployment rate in South Africa is currently at 62.4% for the first quarter (bearing in mind, the age group statistic is represented from 15-24 years). Taking into account the mid 20’s to mid 30’s age group (25-34), the statistic reveals 40.4% are unemployed. Again, this reveals the current political powers that be could controversially be argued as anti-youth. This perpetuates deep quarter-life crises experiences and associated emotions amongst the adult-youth. One then can ponder – do these experiences then exacerbate the societal pressures and influence this population to resort to crime or criminal activities to meet societal demands? Is the root cause of crime not only in itself an act of poverty, but a combination of a societal ‘conditioning’ of what should be? These reflective ideas are further motivations of how important mental health is in South Africa, and the disproportionate ratio between population and health care professionals sheds light on the need for access to resources to be more easily available to the general public. This also leads into our next topic of conversation, whereby it is posing increasingly more difficult for the youth to own property.

Housing

According to an article by Property Wheel (2024), the average age of first-time home owners in South Africa is 36. This, coupled with the fact that 40.4% of adults aged 25-34 are unemployed currently in South Africa, it is not as jarring as it may seem. This distorts the image of successful adulthood among the adult-youth that society created decades prior – it is of no surprise that the quarter-life crisis is as rampant as ever. This further exacerbates the idea of an ‘actualised adult’ in contemporary society, a standard far beyond reach for most adult-youth. Moreover, not only does the housing crisis pose a significant challenge toward the adult-youth population, as does the risk of being exploited in the work place, should one secure employment.

Exploitation

It is no mere secret that the youth are at a higher risk of workplace exploitation. Allow some of these reflections below to shed light on such an overlooked issue amongst adult youth (not just in South Africa) across the globe.

In Australia, for example, a report published in 2021 shed light on young workers’ experiences in the workplace. Of the participants, 42.1% reported not being paid for completed work and hours, 43% of the 18-25 year age bracket reported earning less than $400 per week, 2 out of 3 reported not receiving their breaks throughout the day (which is illegal), 7.9% are illegally paid cash-in-hand, and 49.7% are afraid to voice their grievances in fear of losing their jobs (Young Workers Advice Service, 2021). If such reports are occurring in a first world country such as Australia, one must then question what the conditions are for young workers in South Africa.

With the high youth unemployment rate, many cling to their jobs as it is the only income they receive (with job scarcity rampant, the need and security of employment outweighs the mistreatment and exploitation – a common trap unbeknownst to the young worker). According to a study consisting of 417 participants investigating workplace exploitation amongst adult-youth by Benjamin & Chinyakata (2023), various forms of abuse were evident amongst the workers, including sexual, physical, verbal and psychological. A further sub-theme in the article of economic vulnerability revealed that often employers would force their young workers to work extra hours or be given tasks that fell outside their contractual obligations and job description, many of which, were not compensated accordingly for these additional hours or tasks. (Bejnamin & Chinyakata, 2023). Despite the treatment, participants reported a reluctancy to leave their employment to seek better working conditions, as job securement is scarce, and the fear of not being able to secure other employment essentially provokes these feelings of desperation. Apart from the physical barriers impacting the adult youth facing a quarter-life crisis, are the emotional impacts that severely affect these individuals in a plethora of ways.

Emotional Impact: Comparison

Most noticeably, the largest emotional and mental challenge young-adults face is the ever-so debilitating experience of peer comparison. Could we consider it luck or hard work? Regardless, those that are in a stable employment that are living up to the standard of society so difficult to achieve, often leave those in a less fortunate position to compare themselves and their lives to these individuals. Not only does this give rise to immense irrationality in thought, but impacts self-esteem and one’s position in the world. This gives rise to questions and statements such as: “How is she 24 and making so much money, and I’m x years old still struggling to even find a job?”, or “is there something wrong with me? Why I am not there yet?”, and even, “How is he living in his own house and I’m still with my parents, even though I’m working x amount of jobs?”, and my personal favourite, “I’m x years old and I can’t make it like they have. They’re living their best lives and I’m stuck here with nothing going for me”. It is without saying that comparison is the thief of joy. Social media plays a massive role in further perpetuating these thoughts and feelings, as if it were being shoved into our faces. However, nothing is ever as it seems, and we’ll discuss some ways to decrease these feelings down the line in this article, however, so aften are we bombarded with these fabricated extraordinary lives, that it is incredibly easy for us to fall into the trap of comparison, and as a result, feeling quite low and negative about ourselves and our situations. This also brings about feelings of inadequacy, with direct links to one’s age, thus resulting in high levels of stagnancy and demotivation.

Demotivation

When it feels like the world is against you, how can you do anything but accept defeat? As discussed earlier, there are many physical, societal, economic and political barriers that work against the adult-youth in contemporary society, thus, proving it easy to slip into a demotivated mindset, for how long, one cannot say for certain. When job applications ask for x amount of experience, or years of work in a specific field, or additional qualifications over-and-above your existing qualifications (should you be fortunate to have these), it’s no surprise that the adult-youth face an epidemic of demotivation and learned-helplessness (which is also further exacerbated by comparing oneself to others and others of a similar age that appear to be flourishing in life). The ‘I’m not good enough’ irrationality begins to take over, and our levels of motivation plummet to all-time lows. Furthermore, this widespread phenomenon catches wind amongst the older generations, and labelling such as ‘being lazy’ or ‘unambitious’ or being a ‘leech’ all add up and can affect one’s mental health drastically. Such then can result in feelings of depression, anxiety, or could lead to fully-fledged mood disorders, complete break-down of reality, and an insurmountable amount of pressure that anyone may struggle to cope with. Moreover, the lack of resources available to a large portion of the South African population further increases these feelings of helplessness and thoughts of “I will never be able to achieve/get out of XYZ”. However, more on thought processing later.

Societal Pressure

Societal pressure comes in a plethora of forms, from becoming productive members of society, fitting into family and gender roles, to the socialisation required to fit societal standards and norms. Such societal pressure can be, in certain instances, motivational pressure and stress by prompting individuals to uplift themselves and their communities, adding to existing bodies of knowledge (which is immensely valuable in any industry and field of thought), and fostering family dynamics through community engagement. Paradoxically, societal pressure can contribute to feelings of unworthiness, dependability and less independence, poor self-perception, and most noticeably, questioning one’s purpose and existence – ladies and gentlemen, the quarter-life crisis in all its glory (or ignominy, a better-suited description one might argue). This societal pressure, further creates a divide between those who have ‘made it’, and those who are still on the path to achieving their goals. Often, this divide creates negative stigmas surrounding those still living at home with their parents/caregivers, those without jobs, those who don’t have significant social circles, and the list can go on. From a social impact perspective, these stigmas likely affect one’s public image, from struggling to make work or professional connections, the challenge of broadening one’s social circle from acquiring friendships or even romantic relationships (which adds to the existing dilemma of having a family by a certain age), and such public image (stemming from external pressure) can be then felt inward – the pressure this creates all begins to pile on, further perpetuating the above-mentioned negative emotional crises and states.

With all these pessimistic, and rather negative, impacts and themes above, one may ask, “Well how can I change all of these things if so many things are working against me?”. And the answer is: Change starts with you. Not from the outside, or what you can acquire externally, but through inward, internal reflection and change. This is the highest (and most authentic) form of change. This change needs to come from a place of self-respect, love, gratitude and appreciation, not from desperation.

What you can do – from a mental health perspective – to calm the emotional storm and turn the quarter-life crisis, into a quarter-life journey.

1.Focus on yourself – and yes, be selfish about it.

Easier said than done, I agree. But that is the beauty of change and self-reflection: The ability to face it all and go against the grain. To take ownership of your life. The uncomfortable truth? The world, society, the people around us, owe us nothing. It is up to us to owe it to ourselves to make a joyful, loving, and ever-so evolving life, and it starts with us. Here are some ways to focus on yourself and your visions:

  • Create goals that you are wanting to achieve, whether it is making more friends, finding employment, remaining active and being more healthy, or being more productive. Whatever it is that you deem to be important in your life, things that are worthy enough to you that will bring about authentic and inner change. The most effective goals are SMART goals. S- Specific (be really picky and distinct in what goal it is that you are wanting to achieve); M-Measurable (are your goals measurable by some life-compass or mental-tape? Think about milestones, tracking your progress, and being able to look back and compare your efforts to achieve greatness); A-Achievable (setting goals are easy, but setting realistic goals can be tricky. However, there is no limit to the possibilities to your inner prowess. Starting with smaller goals, and working your way up to life-long goals is the way to go. We can also call this goal-stacking – the more you stack, the easier your vision is); R- Relevant (what purpose are your goals fulfilling? Are they necessary or relevant to your growth? Are they important in your journey to self-discovery? Important questions to reflect on when creating goals); T- Time Bound (create a timeline of where you can place these goals in your life. These can range from short-term goals such as daily goals, weekly and monthly goals, and to long-term or life-long goals. It is also important to consider all the other factors of SMART goals when creating this timeline, but it is still just as important in creating deadlines or milestones for your goals too.)
  • Avoid Spending Too Much Time on Social Media

The comparison thief has a vehicle – either through one’s inner emotions, thoughts and feelings, or from those in their immediate circle. Comparison’s vehicle is a rocket when transported via social media. The content we consume play an integral role on our mental health and self-perception. Not everything we consume is entirely healthy for us. The minute you catch yourself playing the comparison game and idolising a social media influencer that has bought their 6th house from building an empire through drop shipping, pyramid schemes, selling entrepreneurial business “blueprints”, or crypto, take a step back. Appreciate their efforts, but don’t allow their life to consume yours. You have your own life to live, and social media can prompt an artificial desire that does not serve your actualised self. Social media can be a toxic realm built off fabrication and deception – instead, follow inspiring and insightful individuals, such as Mel Robbins, Robin Sharma, Joe Dispenza, Steven Bartlett, Brenê Brown, and other influential figures that promote good in the world. Podcasts can also be a great alternative than engaging in mindless ‘doom-scrolling’.

  • Taking time to self-reflect on your strengths, ambitions, dreams, what may be short-falls or weaknesses (in other words , things we can pay some attention on and change for the good) – it is a super power to be self-aware, and to have a strong sense of identity that is congruent to you values and morals. This can be done through journalling, recording videos or audios of yourself (we call this digital journalling), and really taking time to evaluate your position in the world. What do you have to offer the world, yourself and the people around you. True self-reflection can be seen in the service of others.

2.Change. Your. Mindset.

As we have established, the quarter-life crisis is largely a product of many forces we do not have direct control over. In fact, these very systems are designed to work against us. It is easy to say that our predicament is not entirely our fault, but the truth is, we have the power to change that. Changing our mindset (thoughts, feelings, ideas) about how we live our lives and how we behave, is key in taking a sense of power back, and establishing a new-found sense of control over our lives. Let’s be clear, what the world and society does is not our fault, but how we react and choose to behave, is. Shifting our mindset from victimhood, pity, despair, and injustice, to love, gratitude, appreciation, understanding, resilience, and learning, we shift into a neuroplastic reality by directly influencing our thoughts, actions and behaviours to be positively charged. By practising gratitude, and attaching the emotion of gratitude with our thoughts, we are in essence demonstrating that for all what we have, and all that we are, and all we are meant to be, we are eternally appreciative of the opportunity to exist. Life is not an easy come-by, it is a journey of self-discovery. The more we embrace this mindset, the more we embrace resilience, motivation, and love, and the less we feel trapped, stuck, and out of control. This again, can be done through journalling, meditating, volunteering at NGO’s or places in need, and practising mindfulness (particularly effective when out in nature, if that is your thing, however).

3.Check in With Yourself

Yes, we’ve already discussed self-reflection, which largely does relate to this aspect of mental health promotion, but self-reflection is not always sufficient in the grand scheme of things. Having honest conversations with yourself through acts of journalling and engaging with your inner dialogue are great forms of reflection and checking-in with yourself, but what do we do when we understand that we aren’t functioning optimally? This is where self-care comes in. Taking nature walks, reading books, watching feel-good movies or listening to feel-good music, meditating, catching up with friends, eating or cooking a great meal, exercising, are all examples of self-care. However, at what point can we be honest enough with ourselves and realise we can’t do it all on our own? And there is no shame in this, in fact, admitting when we need some additional support, and actively seeking out this support, is a massively courageous and brave thing to do. The counselling space offers this support, as it is a space that can be used to air out these feelings, feel validated in our feelings and experiences, and be present in a non-judgemental space that offers great opportunity for transparency, vulnerability, and nurturance. And even if finances pose an issue, there are plenty of free online and telephonic counselling services available to the general public in times of needs (such as SADAG and LifeLine).

The quarter-life crisis is an epidemic sweeping young-adults globally of their feet (and not in the good, romantic way), but when we lead with love, gratitude, and focus on our talents, strengths and blessings, we can reign these feelings of stagnation in. We all have the ability to live a whole, joyful and successful life, even when it seems like the odds are stacked against us. However, it takes one step and one thought at a time to change our behaviours and our reactions to what life presents us with. We have the prowess and resilience to face it all, and even if our resilience is low, there are always spaces we can find these hidden powers deep within us, especially in the counselling space.

The Author: Bradley Bloem (Specialist Wellness Counsellor)

More about Bradley Bloem: https://www.vitanova.co.za/meet-the-team/bradley-bloem-specialist-wellness-counsellor/

To schedule a session with the author or any of our counsellors at Vita Nova, please contact us on 0712979992, or go to www.vitanova.co.za. We offer a range of counselling services and have interns that can provide you with assistance for free if you are not in a position to afford therapy.

For 24 hr assistance on mental health matters contact SADAG on 0800 567 567

Help is always available.

References

  • Benjamin, F., & Chinyakata Dr, R. (2023). Adults’ Subjective Experiences of Exploitation in South Africa. Dignity: A Journal of Analysis of Exploitation and Violence, 8(2), 5.
  • Ecofin Agency (2025). South Africa’s Youth Unemployment Hits 62.4% in Q12025. Retrieved from: https://www.ecofinagency.com/news/1505-46818-south-africa-s-youth-unemployment-hits-62-4-in-q12025.
  • Property Wheel (2024). The average age of Sa’s first-time homebuyer has increased over the last decade. Retrieved from: https://propertywheel.co.za/2024/06/the-average-age-of-sas-first-time-homebuyers-has-increased-over-the-last-decade/
  • Young Worker’s Advice Service (2021). Insecure Work Makes It Easier for Dodgy Bosses to Exploit Young Workers. Retrieved from: https://youngworkerscbr.org.au/report-a-broken-system-how-insecure-work-hurts-young-workers.