In a world filled with noise—screens, schedules, and stress—it’s easy to lose sight of the quiet power of emotional presence. Yet for children, nothing matters more than feeling seen, heard, and understood. Emotionally present parenting isn’t about being perfect or always available; it’s about cultivating attunement and empathy in the moments that matter most. And for couples raising children together, this kind of presence isn’t just beneficial for the child—it can strengthen the bond between partners, too.

Recent research confirms that emotionally supportive parenting leads to better mental health outcomes for children. A 2025 study published in BMC Psychology found that parental emotional adjustment—how well parents cope with the demands of parenting—was significantly associated with positive parenting practices such as warmth, praise, and emotional responsiveness. These findings suggest that when parents are emotionally regulated and present, they’re more likely to foster nurturing environments that support healthy development.

Children thrive when they feel emotionally safe. This sense of safety isn’t built through grand gestures or expensive activities, but through consistent, meaningful connection. A parent who kneels to meet their child’s eyes during a meltdown, listens without rushing to fix, and holds space for big feelings sends a powerful message: You matter, and your emotions are welcome here. But emotional presence requires internal work. Many parents carry stress from work, relationship challenges, or unresolved personal trauma. These burdens can make it difficult to respond calmly and compassionately to a child in distress. A parent who grew up without emotional validation may struggle to offer it to their own child—not because they don’t care, but because they’re still learning how.

For couples, the parenting journey is deeply intertwined with their relational dynamics. When emotional labor becomes lopsided—one partner overburdened and the other disengaged— resentment and fatigue can build. Sharing emotional responsibilities, supporting each other’s parenting styles, and checking in about each other’s wellbeing fosters a climate where both the relationship and the family thrive.

Being emotionally present means slowing down. It means putting aside the phone during bedtime stories, noticing when a child is withdrawn, and gently asking, “You seem upset— want to talk about it?” It means tolerating discomfort when a child is angry or sad without rushing to distract, punish, or fix. Presence isn’t passive; it’s active, compassionate attention.

Psychologists have found that children often feel more emotionally validated by grandparents largely based on the large amount of eye contact and undivided attention they receive when they are talking. And when ruptures happen—as they inevitably do—repair becomes the most powerful parenting tool. Apologizing to your child, acknowledging when you were distracted or reactive, and committing to do better models humility and emotional resilience. Children learn not just from what we say, but from how we respond to our own mistakes.

Research from the University of Oslo highlights that modern parents who validate their children’s emotions—rather than dismiss or punish them—raise children who are more emotionally intelligent and resilient. These children tend to exhibit fewer behavioural problems and have stronger mental health outcomes. Similarly, a 2023 study published in PLOS ONE found that children with higher levels of trait mindfulness—often cultivated through emotionally present parenting—showed greater resilience during the COVID-19 pandemic, with lower levels of anxiety and depression.

Couples can practice emotional presence with each other too: asking about the day with curiosity, listening without interrupting, and validating emotions without judgment. When partners feel emotionally supported, they show up more fully for their children. It’s a ripple effect: emotional presence begets emotional safety, which nurtures resilience.

Emotionally present parenting isn’t a rigid set of rules—it’s a mindset, a practice, a commitment to connection. When parents and couples lead with empathy and attunement, they raise children who are not only resilient but deeply rooted in love.

The Author: Linda-May Roodt (Specialist Wellness Counsellor)

More about Linda-May Roodt: https://www.vitanova.co.za/meet-the-team/linda-may-roodt-specialist-wellness-counsellor/

To schedule a session with the author or any of our counsellors at Vita Nova, please contact us on 0712979992, or go to www.vitanova.co.za. We offer a range of counselling services and have interns that can provide you with assistance for free if you are not in a position to afford therapy.

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