We are currently living in ever-changing times and emotional maturity might be just be one of the things that will keep us sane. Emotional maturity consists of two components, firstly your ability to understand and identify your emotion. Secondly, being able to manage that emotion no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. That means that, for example, you are able to remain calm when your friend or partner lashes out on you or you are able to admit that you are wrong when you made a mistake.
Emotional maturity are the little golden nuggets of life.
The fact of the matter is that emotional immaturity could possibly be dangerous and might leave a lot of emotional scars on other people. Emotionally immature people generally ensure that everything is about them and they tend to be defensive mostly making use of blaming. They normally find excuses and seldomly take accountability for their own mistakes. People who are emotionally immature most often will leave you feeling unheard and alone because they offer a lack of emotional support, understanding and respect.
It is like pouring your heart and soul into a cup that does not plan on pouring into yours.
So what does emotionally maturity look like:
- Emotional maturity is the ability to have grace, compassion and understanding for yourself as well as others. Emotionally mature people are quick to assume the best of those around them and slow to judge.
- They have the ability to pause before reacting and are able to consciously respond to stressful overwhelming situations. They ask questions and clearly communicate before making assumptions about another person’s behaviour.
- Emotionally mature people handle conflict gracefully without name calling, screaming or shutting down. They work to repair relationships post conflict with openness and vulnerability.
- They can clearly communicate and take breaks when they become emotionally overwhelmed.
- They have the ability to be responsible for their own behaviour without blaming something (or someone) externally.
- The most beautiful thing about emotionally mature people is that they have the ability to hold space in relationships for another person’s pain and to honour that pain without attempting to deny that person’s reality.
- They respect the boundaries of other people. Emotionally mature people have clear boundaries and are able to honour the boundaries of those around them.
Being emotionally mature is an immensely powerful space to be in. It is not something that just magically happens, it requires a process. Becoming emotionally mature consist of different things coming together.
What can we do to become more emotionally mature:
- Be Self-Reflective: It starts by realising that there might be some areas where work is required. Therefore, if you were reading this and maybe realised that you have one or two areas to work on you are already on the right path.
- Set Boundaries: It is important to be clear on what you will allow in your life and what you will not. In life there will always be many things that is outside of our control however we can control what we allow into our lives.
- Learn to Pause: Learning how to pause puts the power back into our hands. It is those few seconds to just breath before reacting to a heated argument or that half an hour to gather your thoughts before a meeting. It teaches us how to regulate and control our emotions.
- Own It: Making a mistake in life is inevitable, therefore just own it and learn from it. Simply note the mistake, apologise if needed, determine to improve on it and there you go. Be kind to yourself about the mistakes you make.
- Seek guidance/help: Growth sometimes comes in the form of seeking help. It might be helpful to seek ways to work on those different areas that you come across that needs some attention. Counselling can be greatly beneficial for emotional maturity as it can help you to develop skills or work through hurtful areas in your life.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to continuously work on yourself and allow yourself to grow. It does take a lot of courage, but the results are priceless.