The disappointment and the realization that your marriage did not work out can be almost unbearable. The fact that you have spent so much of your time together as a couple also adds to this feelings of loneliness, insecurity, uncertainty- about your life together as well as the life you are now supposed to create from scratch…add children to the mix and you have got a truly desperate situation…but it need not be desperate.
In divorce counselling we work together at resolving issues as best we can in order to end the relationship in a peaceful and healthy manner.
Things need not end badly for two people who decide to go their separate ways. We work on getting closure, we work through the different phases of grief we work on forgiveness, letting go and moving on.
If you have children, it is so much more important to resolve things peacefully. Kids are extremely self-centered; they honestly believe that the whole world revolves around them. Therefore, their parents splitting up and not loving each other anymore, can most definitely be attributed to the fact that they didn't clean their room last week or wasn't a good little girl/boy yesterday in the shops… Also, in trying to console their kids and/or trying to show them how much they love them, by going on and on about how they are going to miss them when they visit the other parent; parents can often unknowingly and very unintentionally place their children in a situation where they feel responsible for the parents happiness…so “while I’m visiting daddy, mommy is crying herself to sleep…me being here with him, hurts my mommy badly”.
Come and find some very insightful and helpful tools to aid you in making this difficult situation as easy as possible for you both, but more importantly for your children as well.