- Is a child branded naughty at school a reflection of the home they come from?
Sometimes – Yes. Working with people nothing is ever really clear cut black and white; but if family life at home is overly aggressive or violent, that could reflect in the childs behavior at school, also Being naughty gets a child negative attention; negative attention is preferable to No attention; so if a child doesn’t get enough attention at home that could most definitely reflect in his/her behavior at school.
Often, though, we find that parents seem to be very loving and attentive caregivers, but still have a child who acts out at school; in this case the behavior could be an indication of something else being wrong; be it trauma or something that upsets or frustrates the child – children often don’t have the same verbal capability in expressing emotions the we as adults are supposed to have, so they will act it out, rather than verbally tell you that something is wrong
- What effect does being constantly called naughty have on children?
I just have to say that I really honestly do sympathize with teachers; I think it’s one of the most ungrateful jobs there are and they truly have their work cut out for them. And they are one of the most influential role players in a child’s life at any given time. So we realy need to treat them with more compassion and respect.
Throughout our lives we take the external info available to us about who we are and we evaluate ourselves according to that. – Children especially tend to live up to the labels that we apply to them; they live up to the expectations that we have of them. If your child is labeled as being naughty or impossible all the time; you can be assured that he/she won’t disappoint! The words that we speak to each other and our children carry a lot of weight.
So rather than saying your naughty, start speaking positively into the childs life, say things like; youre such a hard worker, im so proud of you, or thank you for being such a good helper today – the unexpected compliments, when they don’t realize you were whatching, will boost them immensely and will encourage them to live up to that and keep on proving you right – that’s so much better and way more effective than the negative attention I mentioned
- How does a parent help this child?
You as a parent just actively build that self-esteem to the best of your ability, also; if need be, go and talk to the teacher. Your approach here is of the utmost importance; if you approach the teacher with an attitude that says: “what can I as parent do to help you” the teacher would really go out of their way to accommodate you. Parents who are appreciative of all their efforts and who are willing to take hands with them rather that criticize and moan the whole time, will be handled in a much better way than parents who do the opposite
Also important is to try and take an objective look at your child – is this truly a situation where the teacher is incapable of handling things, or is your child difficult – and if so you have to rule out the underlying cause; is it a discipline problem at home; emotional, is it medical, is it lack of attention or an inability to concentrate…and then tackle the situation accordingly and get the help that you need in order to do so.
- There is a growing trend for parents to medicate their children when they feel they cannot manage them; when should a child be medicated and when is it a big NO?
My personal opinion: Do not medicate your child if you did not get at least three, independent medical opinions which advise you to do so. ADD and ADHD for example are way too often mis diagnosed in children, simply because parents or teachers do not have the patience to deal with lively children. And children are exactly that – they are more often than not little bundles of energy!
If you do get advised by the majority of your non-biased medical practitioners to medicate your child – I urge you to try the natural root before going all chemical. After today’s show I will post a tried and proven diet on my site that will aid you in treating over activity or a lack of concentration. If after several months of dedicated use of these products – without any improvement, you can try the chemical medications.
- Shouting and Smacking used for changing the behaviour; what effect do these have? What is the top skill a parent in this situation needs to possess?
Listen, I am a parent myself and there are times when they simply drive you up the wall! And you do scream, shout or throw a tantrum of your own, but we as parents have to keep in mind that if you are shouting and smacking your child at every given chance or for every miss bahaviour; you are simply modeling the exact violent, out of control behavior that you are trying to prevent in your child!
Also your child learns that the consequence for this behavior is only applicable if and when he gets caught, so they will often carry on with the bahaviour but in a less noticeable way, or behind your back – be all sneaky about it.
Our job as parents are to teach our children that life is about handling and facing the consequences of our decisions or that our behaviours create, therefore, we as parents need to have PATIENCE, and treat as many as possible of these little bumps in the road not just as punishment or preventing him from doing something, but as a teaching opportunity as well. So try and find logical consequences for behavior and be a little more creative than simply smacking or shouting. Easier said than done!
We tend to think of a bully as someone who physically intimidates other children, but with all the technology to our children’s disposal, we have instances of children bullying others via the different social networking sites for eg. So a logical consequence here would be to take away the use of that privilege. Make the consequence age appropriate and definitely give a clear message that you do not take this up lightly.
And remember that the best thing you as parents can do for your child is to each other – so make sure that your relationship is healthy and, loving and caring.
And as always – really try to not be too hard on yourself, try to remember that your best is really good enough!